Couples counseling
Do opposite personalities attract in a romantic relationship? Perhaps, there is an initial intrigue, when our own, personal individual vulnerability is admiring another’s persons traits, different than your own, while at the same time, hoping to achieve a balancing romantic relationship with this other person.
What happens is in time in the Marriage or couple relationship?
once a comfort zone has been established, within that relationship, there is often becomes the need to change the other, in order to make them see things and think as you do.
The results then, according to one or the other partner, is that there is a “fail in communication.”
This can be the time when love, acceptance, and forgiveness of the opposite partner’s viewpoints need to be acknowledged and communication worked on. Maintaining positive attachment awareness and working back to the initial harmonious attraction as a couple becomes the goal. And, at the same time, trusting and validating your own traits and individuality. Walking side by side, rather than in fusion can develop into a healthier relationship.
Managing one’s individual emotional life, sorting out internal conflicts, unresolved or unattended, difficult emotions from the past can also begin to surface. Detaching and letting go of negative thoughts and emotions, will again guide you back the feelings as the loving couple and a partnership.
We cannot erase our past. If we forget our past, we forget ourselves. We are our past. Honor your past.
As the work continues towards a healthy individual emotional growth, a couple can begin to apply strategic models used. This begins with validation and the respect of the other’s differences in points of view. While also reducing emotionally charged memories having triggered overwhelming reactions.
Emotional regulation; awareness of overwhelming thoughts, from negative to positive, can help one stay balanced, during difficult moments. Self -awareness of one’s internal conflicts between thoughts, emotion and feeling, will reduce symptoms of acute distress, often having resulted in mood imbalances such as, depression/anxiety.
Nurturing your authentic-self, while at the same time, working at finding resolutions to differences between you and your partner while nurturing, is the path to emotional wisdom as a couple.
The Path to Emotional Wisdom is Emotional Freedom.
- The soul is strong. Human beings adapt.
- Observe your character vulnerabilities as being personal strengths.
- Observe the person you fell in love with better understanding of their points of view, even when they feel different than your own.
- Be a good listener. Pause. Couples like being heard.
- Say what you need and mean what you say. If you need to walk away, tell your partner that you are walking away, however, you are coming back.
- Avoid attachment insecurities.
- Stay away from blaming, or criticizing the other.
- Stay away from what you can’t control.
- Stay away from negativity.
